Walking away from someone is downright hard, even if they’ve given you a million and one reasons to. I’ve been there. I’ve tried to look past red flags and blatant disrespect, and it’s only led to pain. You should always put your sanity first. (Also, with a grain of salt, this list can totally be applied to friendships as well!)
When should you walk away? Let’s break it down.
When you’re not being respected
FRIEND. This is solidly rule #1. I’ve experienced this one a lot via Bumble. I say I don’t want a casual fling, yet the guy will still try to pressure me to hook-up with him. If you explicitly tell them what they’re looking for and they try to pressure or manipulate you into something you’re not comfortable with, don’t just deem it as ‘a joke’ or glaze past it like it’s okay. Leave and don’t look back. Respect is not something to be taken lightly. If they don’t respect you now, they never will.
When you tell them exactly what you want, and it doesn’t line up with what they want
Say it with me, I cannot change them. No matter how hard you try, you cannot change someone’s mind. Trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve tried my absolute hardest to turn flings into relationships, I don’t even know how many times. It’s just not gonna happen. Just leave it alone and move along. As much as you wanna be that ‘one’ that changes them, chances are slim that you will be.
When you’re not feeling it
I know this seems super obvious, but for some people (like myself) it’s more complicated than that. Don’t force anything, even if you think you’re just ‘confused’ about your feelings. Follow your intuition. If something is bringing you more anxiety than happiness, you might wanna let it go.
When your effort isn’t being reciprocated
If you’re planning all the dates and initiating all the conversations, and I mean like you are doing literally everything and they are emitting zero to little effort, they’re just not that into you. Say goodbye and get outta there.
When they make absolutely no time for you
This goes along with the rule above. If they are so busy to where you see them a total of like once a month, that’s not a great sign (unless that’s what you want). Someone who is into you will let you know when they have a free sec so they can see you, and will also clear some time for you.
When they don’t support you
If they think your goals and dreams are stupid or crazy, or inhibit you in any way from achieving them, run. That’s toxic. You were meant to fly and achieve everything you put your mind to.
When they're controlling
Listen, they don't ever get to tell you what to do. Ever. They do not get to rule your life and make your decisions for you.
Any of those, my friend, are signs of when you should definitely walk away. (Obviously, at your own discretion. These are my personal dealbreakers.) I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to ask for more. It’s okay to talk about what you want and what you need. If someone isn’t giving you that, you need to tell them. If they still can’t give you that after clarification, leave. You are free to walk away. You shouldn’t stay and deal with your deal breakers. It’s sometimes just not meant to be, no matter how badly you want it to be. You deserve someone who makes you a priority, someone who fights for you. Never settle.
Kristen