My heart hurts for you. I wish you didn't have to go through what you did. I wish I could've prevented it for you. I wish I could've known you when it happened and been there to be a friend to you. I wish I could heal your heart and fix your trust issues and help you see that you are more than enough, that you are incredible, that you are so, so, SO worthy of love.
I wish I could say that I know what you are going through, but this is not a pain that I have experienced. So I've brought in some friends who have weathered this storm, to give you advice and kind words.
“Don’t try to blame yourself, it actually has nothing to do with you. Don’t try to answer, 'what does the person they cheated with have that I don’t?' It could have been anyone. It was your partner that was open to something they shouldn’t have and you can’t take responsibility for that.” -Aaron L.
“Can you learn to trust them again? For me, the answer was no and [leaving] was the best/hardest decision I ever made. It led me to my now-husband and beautiful family!” -Anonymous
“The hardest thing for me to understand was that cheating is entirely because of the person who cheated. Regardless of how the relationship was going, it is up to them to do the right thing and end it first before pursuing something else, so you should never blame yourself. Also from a biblical standpoint, cheating is just an extension of greed. Not being content with what you have/have been given and deciding you want more. Most cheaters cheat again because they have a problem with greed that doesn’t get addressed.” -Ross F.
“It’s the hardest thing to go through and hardest thing to walk away from, but [walking away is] the best decision.” -Anonymous
“Don’t let them explain away their behavior or belittle your feelings. Be prepared to leave them.” -Derek W.
“If it is a serious relationship (3+ years), go to therapy and try to figure it out. If it is new (under 3 years), try to talk about it. But if they aren’t willing to work it out, run! If they blame you, run! If they do it more than once, run! It is on you to decide to move past it and work it out, or leave.” -Chelsea Z.
“Surround yourself with those that support you. Don’t let it affect your trust in others.” -Brian K.
I have never experienced being cheated on, but I have experienced heartbreak and disappointment and feeling broken. I know it's so much easier said than done, but don’t let this affect your outlook on life, love, and people in general. Don't put everyone else left out there in a box. Don't let this make you cynical.
You will be okay.
Kristen