Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly, and without explanation, withdrawing from all communication. (via Google)
I recently hosted a poll over on my Instagram story, and 73% of the people who participated said that they had ghosted someone before. That's a very high number. The reasons for why they ghosted someone ranged from being immature at that point in time, wanting to avoid confrontation, finding the other person clingy and/or creepy, and not being on the same page as to what the other person was looking for.
Are you thinking of ghosting someone? Here’s how!
Step one: don’t do it.
Step two: don’t do it.
Step three: don’t do it.
Ta-da!
Ghosting is rude, and no one really deserves it. It feels awful to be ignored or brushed off, not knowing why or how everything ended. No one deserves to be left wondering what went wrong. Obviously, things happen and "better options” (as one guy put it) present themselves, but what is so hard about letting someone know how you’re feeling? It takes five seconds to send a quick text telling someone that you're not interested anymore. I don’t know how ghosting came about, but it’s time for it to go.
Back in August, I almost ghosted this one guy because it was really soon after my break-up and I realized I had jumped the gun in dating again before I was ready (shocker), but instead I texted him and willingly told him the entire truth. He was SO sweet and understanding. He sent me a long paragraph back about how he understood where I was coming from, offered me some advice, and wished me some really sweet well wishes. It was the most eye opening experience.
I understand the fact that you feel like you don't owe the other person anything, because you technically don't. But you also technically do. You owe them decency. I understand hating confrontation and avoiding it at all costs because I hate and avoid it as much as I can, too. But there comes a time when you have to step up and communicate. It might hurt someone, or both of you. But coming from someone who's been ghosted, it’s so much better knowing to move on, than to wonder if you should keep halfheartedly trying.
(Are you asking 'what if I do tell them that I'm not interested and they keep contacting me?' Then you have my full permission to ghost, block, unfollow, report, etc. No is always no, my friends.)
The answer to the question of “should I ghost them?” is, and will always be, no.
Let’s be better, folks. Change your perspective and take a walk in the other person's shoes, how would you want to be treated?
Kristen